Keep a close watch on the kitchen. This is vital
for getting extra food. The humans tend to cook
more at this time of year and you need to be ready to tidy up
the bits that fall. If you're lucky the humans will put
brandy in the cooking and they will taste it to make sure it's
OK. Be ready to pounce. When they start being silly
you can get as much food out of them as you want.
At some point your human will ask you, "What do you want
for Christmas?" BE PREPARED. The intelligent dog
will have made a list and will have it ready to give to the
human. I've included my list below. If they catch
you unawares and you haven't got a list you need to do the
Put your ears back and look sweet and go and sit beside your toy
box. The average human will shriek with delight and they
may get you to do this over and over again. Sadly
you will have to along with it a couple of times but then you
can introduce a variation. Instead of going to the
toy box you fetch your food bowl! This really does it.
By now they've worked out that you want toys and food and they
think you're the world's bestest and cleverest dog. Bingo!
You've got them in the palm of your paw. Keep it up!
Try to find out where they've hidden the toys and get
hold of them well before Christmas day. Your human goes a
bit soft in the head at this time of year so when Christmas
approaches they will go out and buy you something else so that
they have a present to give you. Beware. This only
Ha ha. They think I don't know where the presents are.
Humans are really, really stupid sometimes.
On Christmas day you can get the maximum amount of food
out of your humans whilst doing the least work. You can
also bag a good place on the furniture or a place in front of
the fire and all you have to do is the cutie pie look or the
sickly sweet routine. I like Christmas. Jilly
has written out this year's Christmas list for Father Christmas
with my help. Unfortunately our Mum wrecked
it by crossing things out and adding bits in red.
Bearing that in mind here's our list of things we want for Christmas please.
turkeys (One each for each of us on the twelve days of Christmas
We are having
just the one turkey thank you and it's being shared between all
A Wubba and a Kong and lots of
soft squeaky toys that I can tear to pieces.
I have given
instructions as to which Kong to bring in a separate letter.
may bring a few squeaky toys to take on walks but they will not
be chewed up.
A box of chocolates .
chocolate is absolutely forbidden. It is very, very bad for dogs
and it can kill them.
bring dog's chocolate drops instead.
24 selection boxes of dog treats
Just the one
will do thank you Santa.
Some lovely smelly stuff. Bags of stuff
like fish jerky and tripe thingys
Some more lovely smelly stuff. Fox pooh
is great for rolling in.
rolling in anything on Christmas day and
A small electric motor
to put on my skateboard
In the interests of
preserving the furniture I think we'll
forgo this one.
A cat to be delivered two weeks before
Love from Jilly xx